For the past 2 years, the month of February has been a sad one for me -- full of loss and trauma. It should be a really great month -- there's Valentine's Day, President's Day, my birthday. But I found myself dreading this month because it brought up such painful memories. I asked the Lord if He would redeem it this year and He encouraged me to trust Him to do it. I'm beginning to see His answers. Once again, beauty for ashes.Here are a few special things about February, 2009:
My son's very first science fair project which he turned in the beginning of this month has not only received a good grade, it's also been selected by his teacher to enter the science fair in April. We both worked on it together and I am so proud of his accomplishment.
Although this has been a very difficult time financially for me, I am seeing the Lord meet my needs in unexpected ways. I remember driving to Florida last February with my kids under very stressful circumstances. I was terrified about what would become of us. As I drove along I-10, I remember the Lord's encouragement that He was making it His responsibility to take care of us. I have seen His faithfulness to us in countless ways this whole year. He continues to take responsibility for me and my kids in supplying all that we need.
There have been some key areas of personal growth in the past two weeks. Some major paradigm shifts. I don't know how it's all going to affect me, but I'm seeing some very positive changes in my thinking as a result. It feels like where there were high walls before, now it's wide open spaces.
Valentine's Day is a tough one for people who have lost relationships or aren't in one. I had asked the Lord for something special this Valentine's Day. Well, I actually spent the day completely enjoying myself beginning with a friend's yard sale, then lunch at The Olive Garden with my kids and my father-in-law who was in town, and finally, dinner at my sister's and her family. On top of that, my brother-in-law changed the oil in my car (a HUGE blessing!).
Next weekend is my birthday and I'm looking forward to one of my best friends coming for a visit. She and my kids are planning something special. My extended family is also planning a celebration. For so many years I haven't been close to family around my birthday and it caught me by surprise to find out they're planning a party. :)
I can't express how wonderful it feels to have fun things to look forward to in February. The Lord is truly redeeming this month for me, giving me special memories to make up for those other painful ones.
"I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow." Jeremiah 31:13
2 comments:
Ooooh! Really nice flair on your blog! :) Very pretty. I think it's "you".
I didn't remember that your bday was in February! I wish I could be at your party! That would be so much fun...I pray that your February continues with special surprises...
Angela - I know what you mean about Valentines Day. For years, even though my husband was in the house with me, it was a tough day. About four years ago on Valentines, he got very angry at me and yelled at me, "no one could love you; I don't think even God could love you!" It was over an hour of hearing things like that, and at the end of the day, I was broken, barely managing to breathe.
There have been some halfway decent Valentine days since that one, but never a good one, and the memory of that dark day still comes back on Valentines and I find the day hard.
This year was supposed to be the first of a new type of days, but my husband had to travel. It was ok - I had to work.
And then, tonight, a phone call from him - God is working. So pray. I did not expect this now.
Things are good with us now, very good, but there are shadows, memories which hurt.
I pray for you, that one day these days will be shadows again. In the meantime, we pray.
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