Falling Forward

As mothers, we worry about our kids. We worry that they will have all they need, that we are raising them well, that their hearts are being cared for, that they are learning to love God and follow Him. The list can go on and on.

It's tough being a parent. It's even tougher trying to do it on your own. Sometimes my heart just aches for my kids and what they're going through. I want so badly to kiss it and make it all better. But some things are too big for that.

There are days (like today) when I do it all wrong. When, despite good intentions, I just plain fall flat on my face. When I end up looking my kids in the eye and admitting I blew it and I'm sorry. They are always so gracious and forgiving.

But it weighs on me, my failures as a mom. It's disheartening to see myself adding to the pain and frustration, instead of alleviating it. Dropping off my kids at school, I drove home feeling discouraged and low. I could hear the Accuser coming in with criticism and judgment. Sometimes I listen and take those thoughts to heart (which doesn't help at all.)

But this morning, I asked my Father what He has to say. He said I tend to look at things close up, isolating each incident and making a judgment from that. I'm like a child, learning to walk and getting discouraged because I fall down. But He looks at things differently, from a long-range perspective. He isn't alarmed when I blow it from time to time. He sees my heart and He sees where He's taking me. He knows how He will use even my failures to accomplish His work in me and in my kids. He's not afraid of my weakness, because His strength is made perfect in weakness.

In grace, it's okay to trip and fall. Because in grace, when you fall, you fall forward.

"He tends his flock like a shepherd. He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." Isaiah 40:11