I've been pondering the story in John 9 of Jesus healing the man born blind. Something that struck me is that this man had only interacted with his world by touch, taste and sound. But when his eyes were opened and he could see for the first time, everything changed. How strange it must have been! Maybe even overwhelming.
All his previous definitions didn't work anymore. I wonder if he had to go up to something and touch it before he knew what it was. His whole way of life was changed in that one moment. Even though I'm sure he was thrilled and excited, yet there may have been times where it seemed easier to go back to darkness than continue to adjust to a new world of sight.
I'm experiencing something similar myself. Some of my long-held patterns of thinking and interacting with people and with God are being changed almost overnight. I'm excited about the changes. But it leaves me with a sense of uncertainty. I don't know how to do this. I mean, it's wonderful. But I don't know the rules to this game. Maybe there aren't any.
Not trying to sound cryptic or mysterious here, but I honestly don't know what to call it. The Lord is doing some deep changes inside of me and it's affecting every aspect of my life. In a good way. But I feel like how that blind man must have felt. I like this. A lot. But I don't know what it is. Freedom? Something more than that? I don't even have a name or a definition.
There's a part of me that keeps trying to go back to the old ways simply because they're familiar. But it's like putting on clothes you wore when you were 10 -- they don't fit anymore.
I'm sure that as we go along, the Lord will give clarity and understanding. I get the sense that He's enjoying this very much. It's something He's been waiting to do for me. He's changing our relationship into more of an adventure.
"Come, let us go up to the mountain of the LORD, to the house of the God of Jacob. He will teach us His ways, so that we may walk in His paths." Isaiah 2:3