17

Seventeen years ago this coming Saturday was my wedding day.  
July 24, 1993.

Yesterday, I reviewed the final draft of the "marriage settlement agreement" for our divorce.  

There's not much to settle.  We leave the marriage empty-handed, just like we entered it.  The only treasures are two beautiful, precious, amazing children and years of memories. 

This was not how I wanted it to end.  Watching the relationship crumble quickly before my eyes, I fought hard to keep it going, to keep it alive.  For 3 long years I waited, praying and hoping, begging God for restoration.  

And God restored me.  

In a few days, my husband and I will sign a document, just like we did 17 years ago.  Then he will go his way and I will go mine.

It's strange, I thought it would destroy me to go through all that I've experienced.  I thought divorce would be the worst thing that could happen.  Yet here I am on the very threshold and I feel peace.  A little sadness.  But mostly peace and a sense of anticipation for what God has for me.

I am thankful.  Thankful for 17 years as a wife.  I grew so much as a person being married to him.  I'm thankful for the past 3 1/2 years of heartache.  Walking those dark paths, I have learned the faithfulness of God and how deeply the Lord loves me.  I have learned to trust.

"Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God, you who have done great things.  
Who, O God, is like you?
Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.  
You will increase my honor and comfort me once again. 
My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you -- I, whom you have redeemed."
Psalm 71:19-21, 22


In hope,