Tuesday, July 20, 2010

17


Seventeen years ago this coming Saturday was my wedding day.  
July 24, 1993.

Yesterday, I reviewed the final draft of the "marriage settlement agreement" for our divorce.  

There's not much to settle.  We leave the marriage empty-handed, just like we entered it.  The only treasures are two beautiful, precious, amazing children and years of memories. 

This was not how I wanted it to end.  Watching the relationship crumble quickly before my eyes, I fought hard to keep it going, to keep it alive.  For 3 long years I waited, praying and hoping, begging God for restoration.  

And God restored me.  

In a few days, my husband and I will sign a document, just like we did 17 years ago.  Then he will go his way and I will go mine.

It's strange, I thought it would destroy me to go through all that I've experienced.  I thought divorce would be the worst thing that could happen.  Yet here I am on the very threshold and I feel peace.  A little sadness.  But mostly peace and a sense of anticipation for what God has for me.

I am thankful.  Thankful for 17 years as a wife.  I grew so much as a person being married to him.  I'm thankful for the past 3 1/2 years of heartache.  Walking those dark paths, I have learned the faithfulness of God and how deeply the Lord loves me.  I have learned to trust.

"Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God, you who have done great things.  
Who, O God, is like you?
Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.  
You will increase my honor and comfort me once again. 
My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you -- I, whom you have redeemed."
Psalm 71:19-21, 22


In hope,


3 comments:

Traci Michele said...

So sad... praying for peace and comfort. Glad you liked my recipe! :-)

JayDee said...

You are truly an example of what our God can do when we let Him apply the truths of His Word and cooperate with Him. He is so precious! And so are you.

Jane Anne said...

I stumbled across your blog from A Holy Experience. I read your gratitude posts and then I found this one. This may seem strange to some but I found this post beautiful. That is, your peace, your faith, your resilience, and your love are evident. I am thankful for your restoration. I am thankful for your ability to trust.