Friday, April 15, 2011

On Distance

It's time for 5 Minute Friday with thegypsymama.  This week's theme:  On Distance.

(I confess it's a little unnerving to write for 5 minutes straight about whatever comes into my brain -- just shooting straight from the hip.  But hey, it's Friday.  Time to let loose and live a little.) 


I've lived with distance my whole life.

Saying goodbye to my parents and little sisters at the age of 8, going to boarding school for missionaries' kids, 2 hours flight away from home. 
Saying goodbye to my friends and classmates, flying out to the remote jungle village to spend Christmas and summer breaks with my family.

I spent my most of my childhood at a distance from those I loved.

Physical distance can be hard.  Emotional distance is a killer!

Distance that silently grew between my ex-husband's heart and mine until we became an ocean away from each other.  I fought with all my strength to keep us close but it didn't change anything. 
Now we are as distant as two people could ever be.  But I'm finally at peace with that.

The sad part is this means my children live over 1000 miles away from their father.  Still more distance than anybody would want.

I'm tired of living at a distance from people.  Sometimes it feels safer to keep everyone at arms' length, not letting anyone really in to see me, to see my heart.  But living fully alive means taking steps to bridge the distance, even if it's scary and risky and makes me feel extremely vulnerable. 

God refuses to let distance grow between us, and I'm glad.  He pulls me in close to His heart in the deepest kind of intimacy.  And He's safe, so it's okay. 


Cari Kaufman said...

This is an awesome post...emotional distance is a killer.

Robyn Q said...

Beautiful thoughts. It is so true and I am so grateful how God keeps us from drifting away. "Hold me" are my words I repeat in prayer day in and day out.

Just lately, God has been moving in my heart concerning the distance and anger that my x husband still has toward me. It creates such fear in me to allow myself to be vulnerable with him. But perhaps its my vulnerability that will break the distance. I see it's his bondage in life & I know God wants him free, too.

I just love reading your words today. Thank you for encouraging. BE BLESSED!

Rebecca Conduff de Aguirre said...

This is an interesting idea, to write for five minutes about a topic...I might have to try this and see what happens! lol

Your post brings up a lot of emotions and memories...but I like the conclusion, that God doesn't let distance grow between us! I love that!

Thanks for writing about this today! :)